


UNSPOKEN

by joli_camarillo, mallory_01852, Patty_Parker60



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Marina-fandom, Station 19 (TV), Surrera-fandom, The Killing, VICLEY-fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, Feels, Friendship, Friendship betrayal, Love Confessions, Some angst, True Love, Unrequited Love, non verbal communication
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:33:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22820089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joli_camarillo/pseuds/joli_camarillo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mallory_01852/pseuds/mallory_01852, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patty_Parker60/pseuds/Patty_Parker60
Summary: Unspoken feelings: these should have been BEFORE and weren't ...various Station 19,Grey's Anatomy, and  other fan ficdoms characters use the written word to expresstheir feelings no that a second chance presents itself.
Relationships: Andy Herrera & Robert Sullivan, Andy Herrera/Robert Sullivan, Jules Karr (OC-Female Station 19)/Jack Gibson, Maya Bishop & Victoria Hughes, Victoria Hughes/Lucas Ripley
Comments: 23
Kudos: 29





	1. MY HOME

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lila_luscious1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lila_luscious1/gifts), [Bacner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bacner/gifts), [julrenda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/julrenda/gifts), [Chloelovesstation_19andwentworth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chloelovesstation_19andwentworth/gifts), [LeesyLovesBathenaAndVicley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeesyLovesBathenaAndVicley/gifts), [lovevicley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovevicley/gifts), [CSW1420](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CSW1420/gifts), [Gasnina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gasnina/gifts), [legallyblindandrea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/legallyblindandrea/gifts), [emilylukns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilylukns/gifts), [Alynnroe89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alynnroe89/gifts), [Missthang616](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missthang616/gifts), [The_Unseen_MrStanton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Unseen_MrStanton/gifts), [AmayaBlack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmayaBlack/gifts), [sanmartro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanmartro/gifts), [lulu_gee1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulu_gee1/gifts), [beybakker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beybakker/gifts), [cedes_92150](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cedes_92150/gifts), [danilow1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/danilow1/gifts), [da_manelli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/da_manelli/gifts), [carolina_beckerj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolina_beckerj/gifts), [kellicohn23](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kellicohn23/gifts), [beccab1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beccab1/gifts), [ample_annie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ample_annie/gifts), [dirtydiana139](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtydiana139/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy has wanted to tell Robert these things  
> for a long time; she can no longer hold them in,  
> and writes him a letter

Here's something you might find strange, or weird; I myself am kind of  
confused about this little fear that I have, or maybe not FEAR-more a sort  
of disconcerting type of thing. I'm sometimes afraid of you-not of YOU-of loving  
you with the intensity that I do. I've never felt this, and I'm a little scared about it.  
If I give up that control, do I leave myself vulnerable to have my heart broken?

After we parted earlier this year, not speaking to you, not having that connection did a number  
on me. I couldn't imagine not feeling that again. I believe that we will be together, I truly  
feel that in my soul. I know that you love me, and the reasons we can't be public, or allow many  
people to know about us. I'd almost rather not steal the little time that we are able to manage, br />  
because it seems that the intervals between them are getting longer. We have to your new Battalion  
Chief position, and I understand that. And I understand the plan that we have for me to be promoted  
to Captain. I don't have doubts about everything working out in our favor: I HAVE FAITH IN US.

We both know loss. And we know that sudden loss can happen at any time: Ryan, my Mom...both perfect  
examples of that. That may be the main reason for my unease and worry: that something may happen  
to keep us apart. That's why I'm letting you know these things that are in my mind and heart. So that you  
know why my moods may be up and down, or erratic. Never doubt that my feelings for you have not changed,  
except to get stronger. There's a way forward, I trust in the plan: OUR PLAN. It will happen. I love you.


	2. YOGI AND BOOBOO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her transfer to Station 23 secured, Maya Bishop pens a letter to her ex-comrades  
> at the 19, expressing regret for her past actions. She also meets her brother Mason  
> who has some pleasant revelations for her.

I let you all down so completely. I let my nature, to win at all costs, overwhelm what should have been my genuine  
affection, and a sense of loyalty, to those I was once fortunate to call my friends. Although it rings hollow, I'll say it anyway:  
I hope that you will all find a way to forgive me. You all feel betrayed, and you are justified in that.

JACK: What I did to you is wrong. The things that I said when I broke up with you I said as a  
way to make what I was doing easier for ME. That was wrong. I knew how deeply you 'fall'  
when you fall, and I didn't care. I'm so sorry; I hope that you can one day believe that.

ANDY: You were in a bad place after Ryan was killed, and I'm sorry that I did not support you the  
way that a friend should have. I swooped in and snatched up a job I know that you deserved,  
though emotionally may not have been ready to take on. I could have handled the situation  
better: suggested 'acting Captain', or maybe sharing the position, until you got to a better place.  
I'm sorry, Ands. I'm really sorry.

VIC, TRAVIS, DEAN, AND KAT: I apologize for putting you guys in the awkward and really untenable  
position that I did. I should have done better, and I will, if you ever allow me back into your lives.

BATTALION CHIEF SULLIVAN: I knew exactly what I was doing when I put you in the position that I  
did. I hope that you can forgive me that, and that I can win back your trust and respect.

I let my toxic ambition take over. If I'm being honest, I did nothing to rein it in, and I could have,  
and SHOULD HAVE. I'll always regret my actions during the past six months. Don't hate me, please.  
I will try to start again at the 23; and from today forward, I will let my 'ambition flag fly' in better,  
more productive ways.

========>

"Hi, Mas. Thanks for seeing me; I kinda doubted that you would."

"Yeah...I uh...when I see you our childhood comes back, which is something I've tried real hard to forget."

Maya sniffled and said, "It's hard for me too, BooBoo."

"Yogi...you remembered." Yogi and BooBoo ('I'mmm...smarter than the average Bear!) had been their routine since childhood, until  
Lane Bishop...well...)

"Let's eat something, Mas...you're really thin: TACOS, let's get tacos?"

The nearby food truck provides tacos and drinks; after they are seated Maya said "BooBoo, please know that I know that I left you behind  
with him and that that is my biggest regret. I knew that he is a monster and I left you and how in the world I'll ever make that up to you..."

"We were kids, Yogi. It was Mom's job to protect us, not yours." He laughs at her surprised expression and continued: "Oh, I hated you for a  
long time, at least until I got arrested by Detective Holder last winter-do you know Holder?

"Ummm...yeah we've met."

"Anyhow, a condition of my release was a stint in rehab and mandatory therapy. The judge is real progressive-he felt that addressing the  
ROOT of addiction is often psychological...I'm NOT JUDGING, but can you honestly say that you haven't over-indulged in the bars."

 _And MORE_ Maya thinks to herself, reflecting on the many nights of boozing and sexing, and how she's often wondered as to  
the WHYS of her behavior. "You'd be right", she admitted. I'm so glad that you're getting help, and I still feel like crap for how I got out and...  
abandoned you. It must have been pure hell...I'm sorry BooBoo-please forgive me."

"Hey, hey Yogi...don't cry, because I'LL START, so cool it, okay? Dr. Luna-my therapist, who I still go to even after my parole was satisfied,  
by the way-says that in order to push through the detritus of the past I had to forgive all who I perceive to have wronged me, including...  
HIM...I love you Big Sister. You were in a fucked up situation. You gotta forgive yourself."

She smiled through tears to say "That's what MY therapist, Dr. Lewis said, too. I'm workin' on it: MAS...I want you to come and live with me,  
PLEASE."

"How about I think about it. I have to ask Dr. Luna. OK, Yogi?"

"Sure, BooBoo".


	3. POOR WANDERING ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that she and Carina have decided to expand their family Maya looks to include her  
> brother MASON in the equation; there are obstacles though as she hasn't seen Mason in  
> months

Now that she and Carina have decided to expand looks to include MASON in the equation;their family Maya her mother Katherine  
finally got some help for herself (through a therapist recommended by Diane Lewis). Fiancée and Mother get along swimmingly: the  
older woman long suspected her daughter's proclivities and though she is from a different era she completely accepts that this wedding is  
_happening_ , and has mostly taken-over the bulk of the planning, since the betrothed are so involved in their careers, and  
Katherine's time is less accounted for.

After shifts, Carina drives to the homeless encampment Mason has made his home and watches from a nearby alley, making sure that he  
has warm, clean clothes to wear and food. She enlisted Jackson Avery's assistance in the Board of Director's approval of weekly visits to the  
camp, dispensing medicines, and treating wounds and ailments. COVID tests and PPE are provided as well. Chief Bailey posted a 1 sheet list  
for volunteers the first week of the initiative: the next morning she found THREE ADDITIONAL PAGES taped to the original sheet...even with  
the explosion of expectant mothers resulting from stay-at-home protocols Carina manages to make it out to the encampment once every two  
weeks or so; both Bishop women appreciate her reports as to their son and brother's well-being.

One evening Maya, racked with repressed guilt burst into sobs while watching about siblings separated since childhood searching for one  
another as adults...she cried in Carina’s arms for a long while, explaining "I abandoned my brother, Carina, and my mom...I got away-I went  
to college, and then around the world competing and I never looked back...I did exactly as Lane Bishop ordered me to: I kept my FUCKING  
EYES ON THE PRIZE and I didn't look back once. Now, my mom is a mental wreck and my brother is on the streets, homeless, and addicted.  
She shouldn't marry me, Car: I'm a shit person who doesn't deserve your love or caring. I RAN; I kept running..."

"And now you STOP, _prezioso_. We get on the auto-SORRY:IN the auto -and we drive now to the encampment...  
come, Baby...let's go."

Maya sniffed "NOW?"

"Why not now? I have waited so long to meet my _COGNATO_ : my Brother In Law. It's time. I have your jacket."

Parked outside the cluster of make-shift tents, operable and in-operable vehicles, and assorted junk Maya changed her mind a half-dozen  
times before Carina tired of the indecision and literally dragged her across the street. "Mai". Mason peeked out of his tent with the same dark  
brown eyes as his sister. His face is adorned with a scruffy blondish beard, and he's washed his face recently. "Who're you?" he asked Carina  
before peering more closely at her and doubling back: "RIGHT-you're that doctor who comes by with that group from Grey's."

Unsure of how much Mason knows about his sister's sexuality she responds "Yes. I'm Maya's friend, Carina. I'm happy to finally meet you."

"Why?" he asked baldly.

"Because any friend of hers is a friend of mine. I came with her tonight to support her: she has something very important to say to you."

Maya stepped forward. "I ran off and left you, Mas. My one job as big sister was to protect you-IS to protect you- and I failed miserably.  
He...he pounded it into my brain that you were one of the weak, and the weak get left behind. I was a kid but I knew what I was doing-  
I saved myself, knowing that once I was out of his clutches his only outlets would be you and Mom." Tears pour down her face as she  
states this last: "Please, please forgive me. You're my brother and even though I don't deserve your compassion or forgiveness I hope  
that you will think about it."

"O.K. I'll think about it." Then: "Have you seen Mom?"

"I have. She left La-DAD", she corrected.

"He's _Lane_ to me too....in my mind. After what he did to us..."

"MASON: one of the plastic surgeons, who also happens to own the hospital has offered to build a shelter on this space. It would have  
showers and bathroom facilities, and will be heated."

"More promises", Mason says flatly.

"They are coming in two days. In the meantime, one of the firefighters volunteered his Ford Truck and we bought two generators for heat  
and cooking," Maya said.

"I may be out of touch, living out of doors but how is a truck gonna do all of that."

"The 2021 F-150 has an on-board generator. Here: look it up on this". She handed him a cellphone. "I programmed my number, Carina's,  
the station's, and Mom's in there. It has its own 'hotspot' so that..."

"I know what a hotspot is" her brother interrupted. "What's the catch? I forgive you, or we don't get the goodies?"

"MAS-NO! None of this obligates you to anything. All I ask is that you think about what I've said. I understand if you don't want me back in  
your life, but know that I NEED YOU, and so does Mom."

"O.K. It's gettin' cold." He reaches zip the opening to his tent closed.

"I hope to see you again, Mason" Carina smiled.

"'Bye Mas. I love you."

"Do you?" And the zipper rasps closed.

On the way home, DeLuca says "That wasn't so bad; at least he listened to you."

"I guess" Maya murmured.

"C'mon, Babe- _va bene_ : it's good that Mason accepted the mobile. He's melting, I can tell."

"Maya smiled ruefully: He's _thawing_ , Love Of My Life."


End file.
